12.30.2012

sunday.

About two years ago i began my first session of "anxiety attacks".
some of you may laugh,
but for those who have experienced anxiety as i have,
you know that it isn't the most pleasant thing on the earth.
and for those that are curious as to how it feels, continue reading.
it was my senior year of high school.
it was when my "worries" slowly, but surely began taking over my life.
i had no control over my brain.
it felt like every little being in my body was being diminished.
i would cry and cry.
and i didn't know how to fix this illness.
it was frustrating and scary.
---
i finally was able to find some help.
after months of constant worry.
and waking up literally ill.
i was able to feel the love of my heavenly father and savior, impacting my life.
---
unfortunately, my anxiety still comes and goes.
i have learned and accepted that being a -worrier-
is just something i will always have to deal with.
but by prayer, reading the scriptures, and reaching out to my savior...
everything is always a lot bit better.
-
this past week, i have been feeling the anxiety a little more than usual.
i was feeling nervous, and fear was arising in my body that it was all going to come back.
but then today, my mama was giving a lesson in relief society.
about an hour before, i was debating wether or not to go.
i had been to my meetings for the day, and was feeling a little under the weather.
i went anyway.
her lesson was all about hope, which i felt i had lost all of.
and about coming unto Christ in trials, and just day to day life.

It is so amazing to me how our Heavenly Father knows our needs so well,
and what we need to hear in that exact moment to keep us going.
We are so blessed!
please watch this video, it is just too amazing to pass up.
ps. thanks mama for your wonderful lesson today.